Your boss dropped that report on your desk Thursday afternoon and laughed because he never thought you’d finish. But guess what, it was bound and ready to go once quitting time rolled around on Friday. You get shit done. But when it comes time for lunch, you’re not even trying. We’ve seen you at your desk eating those limp tossed salads with wrinkly cherry tomatoes. We want more out of you. We want to see you champion your meals.

The food challenges we are about to share with you are not for the faint of heart (or stomach) but even though your boss may not, we here at 614Now have full faith that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. What are you waiting for? Get out there and make your body hate you!

The Melt Challenge

Melt Bar & Grilled, 840 N. High St. Columbus, OH

An entire platter of food is yours for the taking. Four luscious pounds of a thirteen cheese medley nestled between two thick slabs of buttered toast—all cuddled up beside heaps of French fries and cole slaw. Coming in at a hefty 5.02 pounds and $35, this monster of a meal comes with more than a cardiac arrest once completed. Winners receive a t-shirt, a $10 Melt gift card and most importantly, their picture on the wall of fame.

The Thurmanator Challenge

The Therman’s Café, 183 Thurman Ave. Columbus, OH

The Therman Café has been a staple in German Village for over 70 years. One of their claims to fame is the Thurmanator. With a name like that, you better step back a couple of feet to make room when it enters. Two, 3/4-pound beef patties under a half a pound of ham and bacon, covered in mozzarella and American cheese, lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, sautéed onions, pickles, jalapeno peppers, and mayo. The condiments alone could suffice as a meal but this is America so why limit yourself?

Mega-Meat-Mega-Challenge

Joseppi’s Pizza, 4767 W. Broad St. Columbus, OH

You + 1 friend + 28”, 13.2-pound mega meat pizza + 1 hour = gluttony stardom. The makers of this challenge must not believe it’s achievable because the prizes are dope. Any pair to devour the whole pie will receive $100 cash, $150 Joseppi’s Pizza gift certificates, a t-shirt and of course, their greasy smiles on the wall of fame.

The Mucho Macho Burrito Challenge

Cazuela’s Mexican Grill, 2247 N. High St. Columbus, OH

“IT TASTES LIKE PAIN.  Like pain that makes you want to saw off your tongue while you’re pouring sweat, shaking in your chair and crying. What a huge mistake.” That was one of the top reviews of the challenge on Yelp. Sounds like a lot of sissy complaining, huh? A 12″ tortilla filled with rice, refried beans, chicken or steak—all topped with hot habanero sauce. Big whoop! Prove those Yelpers wrong and mow down that burrito. Hell, slap the accomplishment on your resume when you’re done

8 Pound Omelet Challenge

Hangover Easy, 1646 Neil Ave. Columbus, OH

Photo courtesy of Tony Carter of The Lantern

Although you may not spot it on the menu, we have it on good authority that if you have enough conviction, the General Manager of Hangover Easy will schedule a time with you to dominate a 12 egg, 8-pound omelet. As if eating a dozen eggs is not enough of a challenge, this omelet is also stuffed with ham, sausage, bacon, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, onions, mushrooms, cheddar cheese, sausage gravy, and five biscuits. The beefy guy pictured above succumbed to the challenge but don’t let that intimidate you.

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