It’s 2016, ya’ll! Well, it should be.
Maybe you snaked one of the early-bird copies of this winter edition in those waning days of December, but hey, you’ve had your office Christmas party, you’ve turned in your Grammy nominations—it’s a new year, for all intents and purposes.
Which means it’s time to focus on those resolutions—not those bullshit ones, though.
Do you really think the editor-in-chief of Stock & Barrel is really gonna use this space to tell you to eat and drink less?
But, I still have a list.
Mostly of things I plan to attack in 2016, fresh culinary adventures and a new set of habits that go beyond the things I resolve to continue doing—like eating Cheez-Its with my shirt off and drinking Early Times from a plastic bottle my old man keeps in his freezer.
Look, I’ll probably get on the basketball court more, do a pushup or three, and maybe inadvertently do some yoga trying to slither out of an Uber, but those aren’t deal-breakers. It’s the rest of these that will truly determine my level of personal fulfillment this year:
Grow more of my own food. The only sticking point is that I don’t currently have a backyard, but other people nearby do. I’m sure they’re tired of mowing that whole thing anyway—plus, you get to connect with your neighbors and stay green. Localx10.
Brew my own beer. You know how satisfying it feels when you eat a tomato out of your/our garden? Imagine that, but with a buzz.
Eat more meals in bed. I’m a busy man, but I don’t need a meal on the go—quite the opposite, in fact. Toss some protective cover on the sheets and some goods in a crockpot, and plug it in next to the alarm clock. Who wants to Netflix and Chili?
Connect to my roots. It’s been a decade-and-a-half since I celebrated my 21st birthday at Ohio State. Before Campus Partners bulldozes the remaining icons of my formative years, I plan to throw back a mystery-colored shot and wait in a really long line that may or may not be leading to a bathroom.
Execute a C-BUS Bar Crawl. I don’t mean that as shorthand for Columbus, I mean, let’s literally hop the free bus to as many joints as we can.
Make a nice punch. Drinks you dip into. Always enjoyable.
Roll my own sushi. It just seems calming.
Learn to like coffee. I know, right? What kinda writer isn’t fueled by gallons of coffee? It’s just never been my thing. I feel the same way at a coffee shop the same way a non-drinker feels at a bar. Maybe George Clooney can help me.
Work for one night only in a local restaurant. Because there comes a time in a man’s life where he just wants to be yelled at for his incompetence by a fresh set of mouths.
Eat more before I drink. Self-explanatory.
Eat more before I grocery shop: Self-explanatory.
Come up with better premises for my opening letters. If there’s time. Maybe in 2017. Either way, I’m doing it from my bed.
Travis Hoewischer, Editor-in-Chief