Chance to Hit Stupid Ohio Deer Increases

While you may have wished that your chances of winning our daily perk were higher, your chances of hitting a deer have gone up instead. Sadly, this is life — a constant infinitesimal rotation of varying chances before we all fall into vacuous void. Sorry.

The odds of hitting a deer in Ohio have gone from 1 in 131 — to 1 in 126 according to a State Farm report. No one really knows why this is happening and according to Columbus Dispatch any guesses are pure speculation.

So, we’re going to speculate — we think it is because the deers are devastated about Brad & Angelina divorcing — pure speculation, but we thought we’d throw out hat in the ring.

A representative from State Farm said to the Dispatch that it may be because of an increase in jobs or the lower gas prices. But really, it could just be that all deer have a wild fetish for death and injury coupled the depth perception of Mr. Magoo.

They always choose the closest spot to where cars zip by, wait on purpose ’till you’re inches away, and then sprint by your headlights just barely grazing your grill. They are truly horrible creatures.

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