Target Pulls Clown Masks — Are We Living in a Meme-World?
Just like that time there was an alternative reality theory because of the Berenstain Bears — I’m forced to ask myself if I missed something, some key detail in our shared existence that flew past my periphery and long into the distance.
In a year where a large majority of pop culture heroes have passed away, two of the most historically unlikable Presidential Candidates are up for nomination, our version of things — our reality has finally went full circle and is now just a meme. Yup, sorry everyone we’re living in a Meme-world.
What is a meme-world? It’s where all of this society’s information and news is filtered through the aesthetics of a middle-school kid trying to get on the top trending page of Reddit. News no long exists in a memeworld, just blurbs that can eventually turn themselves in a meme.
Just to catch everyone up, there’ve been a disturbing amount of people in terrifying clown masks emerging from dark woods and trying to attack or scare people. It’s been called a “clown epidemic” and it is horseshit flying at the walls crazy. McDonald’s even discontinued Ronald McDonald. He went into hiding. This is the dark ages for Clowns. I’m surprised the Barnum & Bailey Circus that came to Columbus this past weekend wasn’t raided by a pitchfork wielding mob wanting to see if the Clowns could float on water.
It’s funny, my writer came to me nearly two months ago, “Hey Matt, have you heard about these clown sightings? Should we write about this?”
“No,” I said defiantly. “This is certainly a marketing campaign for some clown-related halloween movie. I will bet you lunch. I’ll bet you all the lunches!”
Today, I’ve lost that bet and now owe her an unimaginable quantity of lunches because Target has officially pulled any and all clown masks from their stores. It can no longer be a prank, as a major multinational business is making strange decisions to alleviate their consumers. Why? Clowns. You wanted to go as a clown for halloween? Too bad! Somehow in this insane reality, it would be insensitive and unsafe to go as a CLOWN for HALLOWEEN.
“There was a much broader assortment available on Target.com and we pulled a good portion of those masks as well,” Target spokesperson Joshua Thomas told KARE after he admitted to them “there were only a few in-store clown mask options. Those are no longer available for purchase.”
So there you have it, clowns are taboo.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
