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Opening Volley

Opening Volley

614now Staff

Hey kids, it’s ColumBest time!

That time of the year when you peel back these pages, some waiting to exalt in another victory for their favorite local spots, others grinding their teeth at what “really” should win.

It’s just part of our city’s personality; we sometimes are satisfied with very little, and other times it seems impossible for us to be satiated.

At any rate, I decided to create a quick checklist of how you can ensure you’re doing your “best” to make Columbus the “best.”

  • Don’t wretch on Facebook about anything local unless you’ve made at least one attempt to help the problem IRL.
  • Don’t confuse you not liking something with it being bad for Columbus.
  • Redefine what makes someone or something “real” Columbus. Do you hold the rights to judge what is “real Columbus” if you’ve only been here five years?
  • Support small business, specifically immigrant-run business. Not only will your tastebuds reward you, but you’ll be doing your small part to address a racial divide in a progressive city.
  • Remember the difference between your resistance to change or your resistance period. Don’t like that North Market plan because there’s a 15-yea tax abatement? Got it. Don’t let that conflate with being really passionate about a parking lot. Or because someone else tore down one of your favorite restaurants
  • Don’t be a stereotype. If you really love Downtown, be an advocate for it and for people coming to check it out, not a defensive early adopter that wants to clip the velvet rope behind them.
  • Reach out to your local media. Little trade secret: we ALWAYS are in the mood to listen, and we get excited when you put stories in front of us. We want to be your voice, and we’re not omniscient. You in our ear means a better Columbus for everyone.
  • Instead of shitting on a local popular business, stop, replace that shade with a positive recommendation about a place you love.
  • Stop wanting to be New York or Chicago. Think of our city like an 80s movie: you wanna be Mick or ya wanna be Teen Wolf? Actually, you always wanna be Boof, but I don’t have enough room to get into that complex theory.
  • Remember: Columbus Sucks Because You Suck. (As in, it don’t have to, if you don’t have to).




Travis Hoewischer, Editor-in-Chief

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