ComFest to file lawsuit to keep toplessness + alcohol

Ah ComFest.. A beautiful, carefree weekend aimed at peace, freedom, community, and even braless-ness. But Ohio Liquor Agents are trying to rain on our parade.

They’re threatening to shut down alcohol sales if ComFest allows topless women. They’re enacting a regulation they use on strip clubs that bars a liquor license holder–ComFest in this case–from allowing females to expose their nipples or areolae.

ComFest is like, “WTF, no.” They’ve whipped up a lawsuit that will hopefully allow alcohol and toplessness to co-exist.

“Applying a strip-club regulation to a three-day political festival like ComFest in a public park is ridiculous and unconstitutional,” ComFest’s attorney, Ed Forman said. Forman goes on to add, “Female festival goers who uncover their breasts are exercising their First Amendment rights and ComFest cannot and will not remove them from the Festival. It is well established law that all genders may be topless in Goodale Park.”

Liquor Agents are threatening to slap ComFest with a hefty citation, shut down liquor sales, and/or bar them from receiving temp liquor licenses in the future if they fail to carry out two stipulations:

Ban topless women
Immediately remove any and all topless women upon immediate discovery

But ComFest argues that they are a community festival; one that is open to the public, staffed exclusively by volunteers (except for cops), and just.. Doesn’t want to infringe on the rights of its female attendees, damnit!

And because the event will operate as a traditional public forum, both female and male fest goers have a legal right to go topless under Ohio’s public decency statute.

“Like many of the women who chose to go topless at the Festival, ComFest strongly believes that it is valuable to confront the stigmatization of women’s bodies and to encourage conversation about societal norms and dress,” said ComFest in a release.

ComFest’s M.O. is inclusivity and equality and frankly, will not stand for anything short of that.

Why now, you ask? Why are Ohio Liquor Agents being party poopers now?

“I really have no idea,” said ComFest media spokesperson, Connie Everett. “The threats were made that threaten the money we give away [to charities, endowments, etc.] and the money we use to put on next year’s fest. We needed legal clarification.”

Everett sees this a just a little bump in the otherwise creamy road that is ComFest. She hopes this gets settled so everyone can go back to talking about all the other great aspects of the community festival.

“We have a festival to put on and we have to get on with our business,” Everett said. “Because ComFest is about much more than this.”