Satireday: Clintonville Man vows to catch dog poo bag bandits even if it’s the last thing he does

“There’s two types of people in this world: good, kind, respectful people, and criminals who dispose of their dog’s waste in other people’s trash bins.” — Aaron Lee, Clintonville Man.

Passionate is one way to describe Lee’s drive for justice. When it comes to morning walkers, afternoon joggers, and evening strollers with their pups, Lee has smelled enough.

“They just dump their dumps in my dumpsters. I don’t get it.”

So what is a man to do when the poo is piling in your garbage cans? Lee suggests catching them in the act.

“I’ll sit in this damn garbage can all weekend if I have to,” Lee proudly stated. “If it takes a lifetime, I will fight for justice. I encourage my fellow community members to follow me in this act of courage.”

When asked what the big deal is about bagged doggy poo mingling with his other garbage, Lee slowly and quietly closed the lid to his trash can and did not return for further questions.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY