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Winning at the game of life: 4 pieces of advice from a local relationship coach

Regina Fox

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The meaning of life is a certified enigma, but most people can agree that a lot of it involves finding love. A lot of people can also agree that finding love and, more importantly, keeping it is one of the life’s toughest-fought battles. If you need some extra ammunition, a therapist can help you dig into your past, but a life coach can help you get “unstuck” in the present.

Sharon Pope is a certified Master Life Coach and a six-time #1 International Best-Selling author, specializing in love and relationships. Recently (614) caught up with Pope to ask her some of our most pressing questions about L-O-V-E. 

(614): I know everyone is different, but what are some textbook symptoms or signals that lead people to consult a life coach? What if someone feels their life is “a little off?”

SP: The short answer is this: If you have a problem in your life that you haven’t been able to solve through other paths or on your own, why wouldn’t you try coaching? Here’s the longer answer: When people are a “little off” in their lives, being mildly impacted by a small problem they’d like to overcome, they will look for a simple, straightforward solution that aligns with that small problem. The people who find their way to my work aren’t just a “little off” in their lives; their marriage is crumbling around them and they’re paralyzed in fear and doubt. They don’t know how to stay and make the relationship work, but they are also terrified at the thought and impact of making the decision to leave. They don’t know what the right answer is for their lives, they’re unable to concentrate at work and sometimes, the stress has already begun to negatively impact their health.

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(614): What can life coaching do for people? 

SP: We can help people create the necessary changes in their lives quickly because it’s very focused on where you are, where it is you want to be, and what’s been getting in the way of you getting there on your own so that we can overcome those obstacles. Coaching can take someone who is already mentally and emotionally stable and help them get their life on track, or even help them achieve things they previously thought were impossible. In the case of my clients, they are able to have absolute clarity about their marriages inside of eight weeks, plus they feel confident and equipped to navigate what comes next—whether that’s how to stay and re-connect to their spouses or how to lovingly release the relationship. Some of my clients are able to create what I refer to as the “2.0 version” of their marriage inside of two months. Some make the decision to leave the marriage, but they are able to do so gently, peacefully, even lovingly as emotionally mature adults.

(614): What do you think is the most important quality in a relationship and why? If readers finds themselves lacking this quality in their relationship, how would you advise they strengthen it?

SP: There is a quality that no one ever wants to have or readily admits to themselves; that is easy to see in others, but much more difficult to see in ourselves; that will consistently leave you feeling powerless in your own life if left unchecked. The most important quality to have in a relationship is the ability to absolutely refuse to be a victim. If I’m not happy, the victim part of me wants to blame that on something outside of myself (my husband can feel like an easy target). The empowered part of me knows that no one else can make me happy; that’s my responsibility. If I’m not having the results I want in my marriage, the victim part of me wants me to get in my pajamas, go to bed, and curl up with a sappy movie and a bottle of wine so that I can distract myself from the pain. I will also give him the silent treatment and withhold love for some period of time. The braver version of myself will be willing to express what it is I need and desire in the relationship and listen for what I can do better to meet his needs as well. If I feel like my relationship is lacking something, such as love or affection or spontaneity, the victim part of me complains to my husband about all the ways he’s falling short and then I’m waiting for him to do those things for us. The deeper part of me knows that if I want something, I have to be willing to give that of myself first.

(614): What would you say to people who feel they will never find their “person?”

SP: The person we’re all ultimately looking for is staring back at us in the mirror. We want to know that we matter, that we’re loved, and we want to feel valued, seen, and heard. The problem is we’re searching high and low for someone outside of ourselves to do that for us. When it comes to finding love, if you think all the good ones are taken, that most people are liars/players/cheaters, or that it’s going to be difficult, it will be. But, if you genuinely love your own company, value yourself, and think it will be easy to find someone that would value and appreciate all the love you have to give, it will be easy. If you want love…become love and be loving […] and you will always have an abundance of it surrounding you. •

To learn more about Sharon Pope, visit sharonpopetruth.com 

When I'm not weaving a beautiful tapestry of words, I'm likely digging through jewels and vinyls at an antique shop near you.

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Getaways

Want to get away? Southwest making it cheap

614Now

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Southwest Airlines is hoping that enough of you are close to feeling safe to leave the house for more than a trip to the grocery store. In a bid to jumpstart their flagging business, Southwest has announced some pretty steep ticket discounts - as low as $49 each way to a host of cities departing from Columbus.

Flights must be booked at least 14 days in advance and travel must happen between May 26 and August 31. Most expect Ohio's 14-day travel quarantine rule to expire by August but be sure to take that into account if you decide to hop on a plane.

Some of the cities and deals we have imagined for you include:

A long weekend in Atlanta: $118 per person roundtrip from Friday, Aug 14 - Sunday the 16th. Keep in mind, it's about 100 degrees in ATL this time of year so be sure to have access to a body of water if you go.

A patriotic, weekend protest in Washington DC: $98 per person roundtrip, 4th of July weekend. See the sights (if they're open to the public) and stand somewhere with a sign with whatever outrage you have in mind.

A long 4th of July beach weekend in Ft. Lauderdale: $198 per person roundtrip from July 3-6 and you can stay at this cute Airbnb apartment that's just one block from the beach for $88/night.

Vegas baby! You're going to have to forget the weekends if you want the great flight deal. But we found August 5-7 available for $198 a person. Plus you can get into the Bellagio for $139 /night right now as an added bonus. Two nights of debauchery, a little gambling and some of the best restaurants in America. What could go wrong?

Of course, traveling may be risky business for some people and this all assumes the respective cities and attractions re-open and are relatively safe. But if you just need to get away, it's probably never been cheaper.

See other flight options here.

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Food & Drink

¡Ándale, check out these 12 Cinco de Mayo fiestas!

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It's hard to imagine a Cinco de Mayo without the traditional tequila-induced hangover. Even though you may not be able to sip those margaritas on a sunny patio or at the bar, local restaurants have figured out a way to help you celebrate at home - margaritas included. Here's the not-so-skinny on living out your tequila and enchilada-fueled dreams.

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In order to bring a bit of normalcy back, we've teamed up with @hornitostequila and @daiquiri_daze_popup to open our doors back up for the day and serve a limited offering of some of the faves for Cinco de Mayo. Offerings include but are not limited to our basic-cable famous salsas and Columbus' most missed margs. A party pack for four will include a Spotify playlist and that good Cosecha pebble ice that MIGHT JUST help to make you feel like you're celebrating on our patio. Online pre-orders will start sometime tomorrow at www.toasttab.com/cosecha-cocina/v3 and go to the day of. Walk-in’s are also welcome! Stay safe Columbus. We miss you dearly. Thank you so, so much for your continued support and we'll see you on the other side. Offerings: • Margaritas - Single (Comes with Salt, Lime, and Pebble Ice) - Traditional - Hornitos Reposado, Dry Curacao, Fresh Lime, Agave $8 - Next Episode - Hornitos SIlver, Dry Curacao, Hibiscus, Habanero, Lime $8 • Chips and Salsas $4 Koki's Chips, Roasted Tomato and Mint and Tomatillo-Avocado salsas Single/Extra Salsa $2 • Sage Margarita Jell-O Shot $2 • Cinco De Mayo Pack for 4 $40 (4) Margaritas of your choice, (2) Orders Chips and Salsas, (4) Jello-O Shots, Spotify Playlist, Ice, Limes, Salt, Super Cool Cactus Decanter • Chicken Tinga Taco Kit for 2 $20 (Pre-Order Only) Chicken Braised in Mild Red Chillies, Corn Tortillas, Avocado Salsa, Pickled Red Onion

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Are you ready to celebrate Cinco de Mayo? This year our Fiesta is at your house with our 5 de Mayo Fiesta Combo 🇲🇽 You can get a combo for 2 or 4 Amigos! Each Amigo gets: • One Queso or Guacamole with fresh chips and Salsa 🧀 🥑 • Three Tacos of your choice (Shredded chicken, ground beef, or Al Pastor)🌮 • Two Lime or Flavored Margaritas We will be also dropping some 5 de Mayo T-Shirts inside some orders as a gift! But you can support our team by purchasing one for $10! *Promo available on 5/5/20 all day. Pick up only • • #eat614 #columbusfoodie #columbusfoodscene #topcolumbusrestaurants #614magazine #614eats #buckeyes #happyhour #mexicanfood #margarita #girlsnightout #tacos #guac #collegegirls #collegelife #restaurant #margarita #asseenincolumbus #college #campus #columbusfoodscene #columbusohio #osugrad #ohiostate #socialdistancing #quarantine #quarantinelife #cincodemayo #togetherasbuckeyes #osugrad

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Things To Do

Flanagan’s has your Saturday night covered with unique drive-in concert

Mike Thomas

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With the usual slate of summer festivals and events cancelled due to the pandemic, we're going to have to get creative if we want to have any fun at all in the weeks to come. In that spirit, the team at Flanagan's Pub in Blacklick is hosting a special drive-in concert this Saturday, May 2, that offers a good time from the relative safety of your own vehicle.

Described as "Sonic, meets drive in movie, meets live concert" on the Flanagan's Facebook page, this special event running from 6PM-9PM on Flanagan's north lawn will feature live music from artist Brad Moore, with full service carry-out food from the pub also available.

Upon arrival, drivers will directed to the field north of Flanagan's parking lot. Attendants will be on hand aid with parking, and to ensure that a proper space is left between vehicles to promote social distancing. From there, servers wearing gloves and masks will deliver a single use menus to each vehicle and handle all carryout orders. Then, it's just a matter of kicking back to enjoy the show (but please take note: Flanagan's requests that all guests at this event remain in their vehicle at all times).

To aid in parking when you arrive, Flanagan's has produced this handy map:

Flanagan's is located at 3001 Reynoldsburg-New Albany Rd in Blacklick. For more information, visit Flanagan's on Facebook, or reach them by phone at (614) 855-7472.

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