A whole bunch of baby buckeyes are going to be planted this weekend on Ohio State’s campus. But these aren’t just any baby buckeyes..they’ve got tons of loud family members, big trucks filled with futons, pillows, millions of clear Tupperware organizers, shower caddies, floor length mirrors…and oh yeah, and they’re people and there are TONS of them.
Three words: Move in day.
The madness has already begun but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. The real chaos will begin this Saturday, August 19.
Unless your life depends on it, avoid these places entirely this weekend while Ohio State’s fresh blood moves in:
- 315 between Ackerman Road and King Avenue
- I-71 between Weber Road and 5th Avenue
- Lane Avenue between Olentangy River Road and Summit Street
- High Street between King Avenue and Hudson Street
- Lennox Town Center, especially Target
- Any Bed Bath & Beyond in the whole world
- Banks in the campus area
- Ohio Stadium
- The Schottenstein Center
- Every single fast-casual restaurant and convenience store in a 5-mile radius of the Ohio Stadium
We suggest you stay in your house and praise everything holy that you’ve got a dog and not an 18-year-old.
P.S. Good luck to all the freshman, O-H!
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