Opening Volley

SPOILER ALERT: “Tonight on Game of Thrones, a dragon gets naked.” Me, July 16, 2017, on Facebook, trolling.

That same day I was probably reading a story on Eleven Warriors about a high school football recruit.

My god, I’ve become everything I once hated: the guy who makes fun of the popular thing he doesn’t get/has no interest in.

Or more succinctly, as my good friend Brad Keefe put it, the “sportsball” version of non-fantasy fans on the outside looking in.

I immediately threw a flag on myself. People love gathering to watch and then discussing the “holy shit” moments later, in person and on the Internet.

It binds together relationships, families, and friends. (Ya know, like my Grandma Velma up there, with the jersey of her grandson, the walk-on).

Yep, we’re all in the same boat, if not on the same team.

I admit it, I’ll never get GoT.

Some of you will never get down with football season.

Many of you actually like both—but that’s hardly the point of this column.

It made me think of all the people I know who loathe football season, and how us fans can be better stewards to our fellow Columbusonians. Plus, for the non-Buckeye Buckeyes, there’s silver—I mean, gray—lining in this for you, too.

Ready … break.

Fans: Don’t yell O-H … like ever. Especially when not in the vicinity of an actual live football game. It’s obnoxious and serves as a self-placed Scarlet letter that you’re here to do football, with little care for those around you. Look, it’s not that bad, but as a lifelong fan, I’ve personally, just always cringed at it.

Non-fans: Okay, so I’ve tried to get that O-H out of your ear. But, you can also just steer clear of the throngs of folks and take advantage of running errands in the fan-less zones. Go to Whole Foods in Dublin, open your arms wide and spin around and around with your eyes closed.

Fans: While we’re on the topic of shopping, you know who gets really irritated by OSU GameDay? Local businesses who don’t sell OSU gear. Especially for the local little guy, weekends are often big-dollar days and they brace for the fall fallout, when Saturday is less for browsing and more for boozing. Each Saturday this season, make an effort to put some dollars in a local shop before you get your game on.

Non-fans: When you see a family or group of friends in town supporting the opposing team—buy ’em a drink. It’ll be good credit in the bank for what is certainly going to be some jackass treatment by a few in the stadium.

Fans: Speaking of The ‘Shoe, if you, like I, hate the mouth-breathing portion of the college football fan base, take action. Be a leader, and put someone who’s acting out of place in their place.

Non-fans: Find one player, get to know a back story you love, and root for that man. You could be the one fan screaming at a television to put in the walk-on who just worked his way into a scholarship.

See it’s all about sportsmanship.

This fall I’ll make a better effort to learn about the House Targaryen if you indulge me by talking about my fantasy football team.

Which by the way is called Game of Throws.

We get Saturday, you get Sunday.

Everybody wins.




Travis Hoewischer, Editor-in-Chief




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