From spicy Peeps to waffle Pop-Tarts, we try the weirdest snacks around so you don’t have to

Jack McLaughlin

Not all heroes wear capes. Some, like yours truly, can’t halt a robbery with martial arts while wearing  a spandex bodysuit, but instead offer the city a service just as useful as Batman might.

I’m trying the absolute weirdest snacks you can buy locally, to save you from doing so yourself. So from Eggo Waffle Pop-Tarts to a parade of questionable Peeps flavors and even little Debbie ice cream, let’s dig in.

Hot Tamale Peeps

Hot Tamales, the spicy cousin of the Mike & Ike, won’t be the top candy pick for many, but they’re still a solid choice. Unfortunately, very few are saying the same thing about Peeps. So what’s the combination of these two like? Not very spicy at all, actually. The cinnamon flavor was nice, and refreshingly different from all-sugar Peeps, but the flavor itself vanished almost immediately.

5/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Dr. Pepper Peeps

The second stop on our “please, you don’t have to do this” tour is the one that seemed the least offensive before we tried them all. And they were magnificently “meh.” These smelled almost identical to Dr. Pepper–and tasted a whole lot like it—but also only for a second.

4.5/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Chocolate Pudding Peeps

This was truthfully the snack I was fearing the most: The word “Pudding” threw me off in a weird, bad way. As for taste, these were uninspiring at best. Flavor-wise, they pack a quick jolt of cocoa powder, followed by, well, not much. I don’t think this had an impact on anything, but they were bunnies instead of the traditional Peeps. Pretty much just a chocolate marshmallow.

4/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

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Eggo Waffle Pop-Tarts

While these lab-grown breakfast rectangles are billed as Frosted Maple flavor, they’re more Eggo Waffle-y than they give themselves credit for. While they get a total of zero points in the looks department, these are actually really, really good. The maple is there, but so is a subtle richness that mimics the butter you might on your Eggos. Please do not put butter on your Pop Tarts, however.

7.5/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Cinnafuego Toast Crunch 

If it is t clear that the sweet and spicy trend has fully arrived, it should be now. And honestly, we’re all for it. These looked gimmicky, but unlike spicy attempts at Peeps, they had a real, mouth-coating heat to them. The cinnamon and sugar added a pleasant balance to the burn, which took me by surprise. This may have been the winner on the day had it not been for their intense smell, which was pleasantly cinnamon and spice forward, but backed by a strange (and subtle), almost chemical note.  

8/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Frankford Gummy Snack Pack

Made to resemble Kraft Mac & Cheese, Oscar Mayer hot dogs and Claussen pickles, these gummies lend themselves to an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. Also, the texture is variable between each shape: ranging from fine to “Is this leather?”

The flavor was definitively fruity, but also muted. So muted that I wouldn’t be able to name each flavor if my life depended on it. Thankfully it does not.

4/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Little Debbie Honey Buns Ice Cream

Not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed we weren’t able to source the Little Debbie Zebra Cakes flavor, but after just a bite of this variety, I found it difficult to believe any of the 8 other Little Debbies ice cream flavors could hold a candle to this one (and I’m not even a cinnamon roll kind of guy). There was a rich, sweet, cakey ice cream base, accentuated by chunks of iced honey bun and a cinnamon swirl. You can thank us later.

9/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie Ice Cream

Any of the nostalgic excitement I was experiencing before trying this flavor was quickly erased by an overwhelming wave of mediocrity. This was fine, but it was just chocolate brownie flavored ice cream. I found zero chunks of brownie, and the star of the show—those weird, brightly colored space-rock sprinkles—were few and far between.

6/10

Photo by Sarah Pfeifer

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