Car Slasher Leaves Chocolately Treat In Gas Tank

In’s unfortunate to say, but getting your car vandalized in the city is a pretty common occurrence. Whether it’s someone busting out one of your windows to search for loose change, your rear view mirror getting ripped off because you have to street park your car, or someone comes and just slashes the hell out of your tires, cars take a beating around here.

But every now and then we get a criminal who gets a little creative with their path of destruction. Take this wannabe Willy Wanka bandit from last Friday as an example.

The suspect allegedly did your run-of-the-mill car slashing leaving all four tires flatten, but our special criminal took it to the next level. Inside the victim’s gas tank was a candy bar which we can only guess was there to either: A.) inform the victim the suspect had attacked the wrong car and hopes a Snickers bar can express his/her sincerest apologies, or, and more likely, B.) sugar getting into your gas tank is pretty lethal to a car engine as it clogs up all the gasoline making a gooey and sticky mess.

But after reading this report, we have some questions for this suspect:

1.) What candy bar did you use?

2.) What’s a more superior method for candy destruction: Reece’s Pieces or M&M’s?

3.) Is a Hershey bar the best candy bar to put in a gas tank, or does the nougat center of a Three Musketeers bar really help keep the melting process consistent for maximum chocolate coverage?

4.) Is Halloween your favorite holiday? You were probably a real shit head prankster as a child, weren’t you…

5.) Are you more of a left or right Twix kind of guy? Me personally, I’m all about the left side, but…

No arrests were made at the scene of the chocolately crime.

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