9 ways to savvily, satirically navigate Spring Daylight Savings

“Falling back” is great because you get an extra hour at the bars, an extra hour of sleep, or just a spare hour jingling like loose change in space.

However, this Sunday, March 10, we will be “springing ahead,” meaning we will lose an hour.

Preparing for this kind of shock to the system is no joke. Or is it? We’ve put together a list of some resourceful ways to navigate Daylight Savings, and some not so resourceful ways. You be the judge:)

Get at least 20 extra minutes of sleep between now and Sunday to make up for the lost hour.
You know that thing you’ve been putting off for days, months, maybe even years? Yeah, schedule to get around to it between 2am and 3am Sunday (don’t remind yourself this time won’t exist, simply revel in the fact you’re getting sh*t done).
Grant a person in your life one wish that you promise to fulfill between the hours of 2am and 3am this Sunday (again, this time won’t exist, but they don’t have to know that).
Pet as many dogs as you can…. Oh wait, that’s everyday.

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Move all your clocks forward 1 hour and 20 minutes to account for the time change and the fact that you’re always, always late.
Embrace the time you still have left to go to bed at 6:30pm and not get judged for it because technically, it’s dark outside.
Make a list of “falling back” -related excuses that disable you from functioning like a normal human being (yes, simply citing the time change is enough to get you by for at least a week, but after that you’re going to have to get more creative (i.e. “I was diagnosed at an early age with a delayed circadian rhythm that takes longer than normal to adapt to change”)).
Take time to embrace the fact that no matter how hard winter is trying to stay in our lives, spring and time are working together to make sure that at some point in the [hopefully] near future, our pale faces and battered spirits will feel the sweet, sweet warmth of sun on our faces once again again.
Call your mom.

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