Columbus brewery introduces near-impossible (but hilarious) ‘beer puppeteer’ challenge

Jack McLaughlin

Do you think you have what it takes to become a craft beer puppet master?

Over the weekend, Parsons North Brewing Co. let patrons try their hand at beer puppeteering. And it’s a whole lot harder than you probably think.

But first things first. “What is beer puppeteering?” you’re probably asking. The official Beer Puppeteer is a device which holds a cup of whatever beverage you, using an elaborate contraption to dangle the cup roughly around face-level of the wearer. After securing the device with its built-in waist straps, puppeteers grab two wooden rods that act like marionette controls, working to pull the beer up to your mouth.

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According to Parsons North owner Nathan Klein, the goal of beer puppeteering is simple: “bring it to your mouth and drink,” but actually achieving this is far from simple.

“It’s one of the hardest things to accomplish,” Klein said with a laugh. You can watch a video of it in action here.

The brewery first broke out their pair of Beer Puppeteers (Klein said he got the idea when Gemut used them several years back) last weekend. 

While many attempted to drink a full beer with the device this weekend, only one person managed to come anywhere close.

“There was one person who managed to drink about half of a pint glass without spilling, but she was the only one,” he said. “A few others got maybe a couple sips, but that was it.”

There’s not a set schedule, but Klein said they’ll likely be used as comedic relief on slower days at Parsons North, and the beer used in the beer puppeteer will typically be provided for free.

“It’s pure entertainment for everyone,” Klein said.

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