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Dating Disaster stories, edition 1

Dating Disaster stories, edition 1

Jack McLaughlin

As the cover section of our February issue is dedicated to Dating Disasters, we’ll be sharing them (nine in total) across three editions on 614NOW as well. Each one is anonymously submitted and from Columbus.

Make sure to catch them all, and make sure to avoid any dating disasters of your own this month!

  1. On Thin Ice

Back in 2019 (seems so far away now…) I had a first date with a guy who had approached me in the gym. While that should have been my first red flag (he interrupted my set — hello? Kinda rude) I told myself I was going to be more spontaneous this year and agreed to go ice skating with him. I’m no pro, but I know how to stay upright on the ice. I was stunned when my date wobbled across the ice like a baby giraffe, considering ice skating was his idea. It could have been endearing, but every time I would try to help him or hold him upright, he’d swat me away and squish up his face in concentration. He spent 15 minutes looking constipated on the ice while I skated around by myself.

Eventually, he felt confident enough to skate side by side with me. It was going okay until it wasn’t. He fell and, in the process, took me down with him. I remember a terrible cracking sound and piercing pain in my head. When I saw blood on the ice, I wasn’t sure whose it was—his or mine.

By the large gap in his teeth, I soon realized it was his. He was wailing and scrabbling across the ice on all fours while I lay on my back, seriously wondering if I was concussed. A few bystanders came and helped us out of the rink. Because we drove separately (I always do on first dates—safety tip) my date immediately took off for what I assumed was the ER or a dentist. He didn’t even ask me if I was okay.

A few weeks later, my date sent me a photo of his dental bill. Um, NO? I blocked him and haven’t heard from him since. I’m never ice skating again.

2. The accidental Girlfriend

I landed a job right out of college where I ended up working with a lot of people close to my age. I made friends with a lot of them, and remain friends with some of those people to this day.

One of the initial friends I made was a nice guy who shared my tastes in music, and was generally easygoing and fun to hang around with. For the record, I had no romantic interest in him.

Looking back now, I can see the signs were there, but at the time I thought we were just good platonic friends. We would hang out, both in groups and less frequently just us two, and occasionally grab dinner or see a movie.

We never once talked about dating, and nothing romantic ever happened between us.

Despite that, though, the story I’m about to tell happened. And it haunts me to this day.

Without thinking much of it, I agreed to go to breakfast with him and his mom, who was in town for some reason or another. I get to the restaurant and meet with them, and before anything else happens, he decides to introduce me as his girlfriend to his mom.

I’m pretty sure my heart stopped.

I’m a relatively quiet person and I’m not a fan of making a spectacle, so I suffered through the ordeal without saying anything. It was brutal. He and I did talk afterwards though, and it wasn’t pretty.

Needless to say we don’t hang out much anymore.

3. Too mainstream for him

I had been dating a guy casually for about a month. My boss got me four 2nd-row-center tickets to a double-header concert featuring two multi-platinum, household name bands our generation had grown up hearing in every media outlet. The guy I was seeing seemed genuinely excited to go.

But halfway through the first band’s set, he confessed he’d never actually heard of either band, and he didn’t like the music. So he sat in his expensive second-row seat, looking bored. 

That was the last time I spoke to him. A few weeks later, I realized I didn’t even know his last name.

If you like this, read: Your guide to Valentine’s Day date spots at five different price points

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